hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
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