But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
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