Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
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