Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
