Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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