he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
