He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I got inside last night via doggy door
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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