Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
