Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I take back everything I said about communal showers
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
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