dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
There r osticjed everywhere
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
