i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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