What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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