I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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