how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
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