No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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