Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
