sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
