I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Randomize
