Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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