walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
