is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
It was confusing and full of hummus
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
