Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Randomize