we're blogging at a bar
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
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