Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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