My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
