I got chris browned last night
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
