I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
