That's when you crack a 10am beer
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
