Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
