There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
