I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
