even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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