i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
