dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
