I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
