I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
