when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
