i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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