the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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