I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
