my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
