You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Randomize
