In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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