mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
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