Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Randomize