I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I pour the whiskey from now on
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
