Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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