dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
