Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
