That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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