He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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