Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I am naked and annoyed.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
