I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
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