I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize