In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
