Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
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