Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize