Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
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