he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize