Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
this boner is exhausting
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
